my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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