Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
