This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
