I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
