If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
