you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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