I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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