yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
