I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
