Me too!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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