Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry about my life...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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