Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
