Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
