two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
