U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
