She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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