We're facebook friends in real life
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
