Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we're making bets on your personal life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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