i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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