she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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