Me too!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
