So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
