I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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