her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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