Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
3 2 1 whiskey
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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