Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
