I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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