would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
