If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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