please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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