I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think your dad took our porno
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
