do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
