ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
