Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
