You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
