what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
