I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
