My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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