he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
