Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
