if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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