when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
