spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
