Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
