dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
