i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
