How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
