Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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