yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
