I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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