So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
