I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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